“When we die, we will turn into songs, and we will hear each other and remember each other.”
— Rob Sheffield

1.  In The Aeroplane Over The Sea – Neutral Milk Hotel
2.  Mystify – INXS
3.  Tempest – Mary Prankster
4.  Strange Little Girl – Tori Amos
5.  Pictures of You – The Cure
6.  The Past and Pending – The Shins
7.  Soul Meets Body – Death Cab For Cutie
8.  Sleep Tonight – Stars
9.  Hairy Trees – Goldfrapp
10.  Blackbird – The Beatles

http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=0f1f8173c492e60208f8df73f2072ed67ce67abeaa11df1db8eada0a1ae8665a

But not my heart.

<3,

M

BFF’s birthday.  The call to her.  Brother’s birthday.  The call home.   Usually – each year – I do the calls in a certain order.  This year I mixed it up and it worked out.   I saw fireflies and watched a group of teenage boys do backflips in the grass while I held it together in a Knoxville parking lot and wished someone near and dear to me happy birthday.  And the fireflies came in handy when I told my father I just wanted to let him know I was thinking about him today.  We don’t ever talk about it.  Just the way it goes with us.  It’s an understood.  He would have been 30.  30!   

I wanted someone to talk to tonight.  And I tried.  But then I felt stupid.  Maybe I’ve forgotten how to talk to people about things that matter.  Ended up cracking jokes so I wouldn’t be weepy far from home.  It worked.    Thanks Pander.  You did good.  And you reminded me in a way that wouldn’t make me more weepy – that what I’m doing is following my heart.  Sometimes, I do need the boost. 

Maybe this is just me .  Or maybe I just can’t cry without feeling stupid anymore.  Either way.  More often - the tears come out when they shouldn’t.  While talking to grocery store clerk about their days.  Or while watching crappy reality television.  But quietly.  So as not to inconvience anyone.   Tonight, I’ve got fireflies.  And tomorrow – I’ll go home.  And try to figure out where to go from here.  Because something has to change. 

I love you,
M

I’m back.  With a vengeance.  Except that I’m not vengeful – so it’s really more like:  BLAMMO.  The explosive, sometimes irrational musings have returned.  Sorry for the hiatus, but due to technical difficulties and sheer laziness I’ve been MIA.  No longer.

The last few months have been interesting.  I’ve spent quite a bit of time with good friends and I’ve met someone I think is amazing.  There’s love in my heart and stars in my eyes.  I’ve gone on several mini vacations and I’m currently staging a massive life re-org.  It’s time.  The west is calling.  It’s been calling for a long time but this time – I’m not sending it to voicemail.

<3,

M